This is my great struggle. I have this idea that my house
should be perfect all the time. My kitchen counters should have minimal clutter
with cute containers for things that belong on the counter. There shouldn’t be
a huge pile of dishes at the end of the day and everything should always be in
its place. My living room should be a nice sitting area with nothing cluttered.
There shouldn’t be socks on the floor (thanks to my husband) and the toys
should all be in the children’s room. Right? My house should be like what I see
right? Pinterest and HGTV give me plenty of examples and that’s what society
expects right? I know I’m not the only one who dreams of a perfect home, but
our views as women (especially stay at home moms) are so flawed.
Like any other time, the media has steered us in the
wrong direction. Yea, my house might look like that when I’m 50 but I’m 23. I
have a long ways to go and my two children don’t understand that mommy’s house
should be spotless. And I’m honestly tired of feeling like my house should be
perfect, so we have toys in the living room.
My friend has a strict; all the toys stay in the bedroom.
She also complains that her son hardly ever plays with his toys but rather her
stuff in whatever room she happens to be in. Last time we went over to her
house, she had my kids picking up toys almost every 10 minutes. It took my kids
an hour to figure out that toys stay in the room. Yes, it was as annoying as
you’d imagine.
See the problem here? As a society we want our house to
be perfect and the kids to be off playing in their room. This isn’t a 1950’s
movie people!!! After comparing my house to hers (which is spotless), I decided
I would keep up like she does. It killed me! I was spending more time cleaning
than with my children. At the end of the day the house looked great, but nobody
was around to see if but me. To top it off, I missed out on countless hours of
fun with my kids.
This is (in my opinion) the first step to the whole
anti-social generation problem. You want your kids to be alone playing when
they’re young but when they become teenagers expect them to be in the living
area talking to you? Why? You’re a little late for family bonding.
So yes, my house is a mess. Some days we don’t even pick
up our toys till it’s bed time. If you decide to just stop by, it’ll be a
complete mess and you WILL have to watch your step. I’ve become okay with this.
Why you ask
1: We have a GREAT time. We build with blocks, cook pretend food, roll around on the floor with every pillow and blanket we can get our hands on, build forts, have tickle fights, and sometimes they just spill toys to find that one special thing. And although it’s a mess of toys, we play for hours. We weren’t just playing, we are learning shapes, colors, sounds, new words, animals, letters, number and anything else you could possibly think about.
2: This is how you bond with your kids. When I was young, I played in the living room, and when I got older I still hung out in the living room with my family. If you push a kid to play in their room why should they come out and play when they’re older. I understand they won’t be playing but they won’t want to spend quality time with you. Why should they, you pushed them away. You let a tv do the teaching, the occupying, and didn’t really bond. If you work, you’re tired. You have a lot to catch up on in terms of house work, but that is not worth losing a loving relationship with your child.
So no, my house won’t be perfect. I will have toys and
there will always be a mess somewhere. If you don’t like it, leave or don’t
come in the first place. We are building an everlasting relationship, a feeling
of openness, a line of communication that will always be open.
Someday I’ll have everything in its place. Someday I’ll have my dream kitchen and we won’t have any clutter. Someday I will have a perfect living room.
Today, I have toys. I have dirty clothes in a pile ready to be washed, I have dirty dishes and clutter on my counters, but that is okay. Because Today I made my relationship with my kids that much stronger, and NOTHING is worth giving that up. One day they won’t be in my house, they will have their own family. When that day comes, I want to be the person they call every week, when they need advice, or when they’re just missing home.
I hope that one day you can be just as okay about your messy living room as I am with mine. Always be thankful for those little people making that mess, because when those little ones are gone, you'll miss the them and the mess.
p.s. I just want to say, we do pick up our toys. I do teach my children that we should pick up the blocks before we get something else out. That doesn’t happen every day, and it’ll take time for them to learn but we are getting there. It’s a slow process, but I try.
